Martial King's Retired Life

Despite the visible rage on He Shi’s face, he used a snarky tone to say, “I knew the civil servants were rotten to the core, but I never personally met one. I really feel sick to the stomach now.”

“You foresaw the old fart coming here to blackmail you?” I asked.

“Old fart? I like it. I’m calling him the same thing from now. I had imagined similar scenes more times than I can remember, but I never thought it’d be delivered so uncouthly. I thought a civil servant would be able to word a threat more gracefully. It blows my mind that he’s been the head examiner for two decades.”

I sat down on He Shi’s bed and flipped my hands over. “Anyone can deliver it proficiently if they’ve had twenty years of practice. He’s not wrong, and his terms aren’t bad. If you take the exam fair and square, you really will be dispatched to the borders. You don’t want to work as an official?”

“I want to even in my dreams.”

“Why didn’t you acquiesce then?”

“Huh, I did say I have my own ideals. A man wastes his eight-foot vessel if he doesn’t pursue his ambition.”

“You? Eight foot?”

“My height is none of your business. You want my answer or not?”

“Lord He, take a seat.” I tidied up the bed sheet and blanket so that there wasn’t as much as a wrinkle.

“I don’t insist on being a high-ranking official or even becoming one. I never thought about going down in history. The reality is many who’ve gone on to become officials with aspirations met tragic ends. I don’t fear a tragic end; I fear dying before I can do anything.”

I bobbed my head. “No wonder why you want to serve Blue Prince.”

He Shi gave a startled reaction as though he just got to know me for the first time. “I didn’t expect you to discern that. Principal Huang is the only person to have realised that.”

It’s not hard to figure out. You’re the one who talked about being prone to falling as an official, so it only makes sense for you to find a big tree to shelter you from the turbulent winds. Who else in the imperial court can be considered bigger trees than the six Princes? Who’d dare to touch you even if messed with the wrong people as long as you have Blue Prince’s support?

“You’re correct. If possible, I’d rather be an advisor working behind the scenes. I don’t seek history’s acknowledgement. As long as one’s master is wise, there is no concern of not being able to chase aspirations. Blue Prince’s gallantry is laid bare. He has always had big aspirations; he’s the one who wants to achieve big things most among his brothers. It’s not uncommon for me to lose debates, but I have proof of Blue Prince’s strengths, so I don’t compromise. Haven’t I lost a leg as a consequence?”

“If Blue Prince finds out about this, his evaluation of you will shoot to the sky.”

He Shi smiled weakly. “Unfortunately, His Highness is too proud to spare anything common a thought. Unless I do something big, it’s unlikely he’ll give me any thought.”

“Therefore, you made yourself known in the capital first and then plan to win the exams?”

“Precisely. I knew it would be a tough journey. Hasn’t the old fart tried to impede my journey?”

I never realised there was so much to it. I folded my arms and asked, “How much do you know about the old fart?”

“I don’t have any details. Principal Huang did mention that there are worms in the imperial court, but it’s painfully difficult to clear and even more difficult to identify them due to the vast network they’ve established. Even if you had an axe and staked your life to clear them out, you’ll eventually discover you only managed to chop a few branches and still haven’t found where their roots are. Before you know it, new weeds will grow and proliferate again.

“The civil servants’ corruption is already visible to the naked eye; even a mere student, like me, has heard about them selling posts for profit. Nobody besides they know how many layers of schemes their deals consist of. I didn’t realise the corruption ran so deep until the old fart came here. They have been filtering who gets to go through from the start of the exams in order to ensure everyone who is in high places are their allies; the structure guarantees they’ll be there to control every link in the chain. How can anyone get to the bottom of their corruption when the roots themselves have decayed. I’m going to report them to Principal Huang.”

“…”

“What? You think my decision is wrong?”

I shrugged. “How do you know for sure it starts at the roots? What’s to say it doesn’t start from outside or… I don’t know how plants grow, man, but on what basis are you concluding the exam team is the root?”

“You mean to say… it isn’t?”

“All you’ve seen is an old fart blackmail. I don’t know the details, either, but do you honestly believe that ugly demon effigy has been able to threaten His Majesty for decades? If that were the case, I bet my head that Emperor’s Entourage would have their blood on their hands tomorrow morning.”

He Shi pinched his chin.

“The old fart was right about one thing: there’s no way a bunch of military generals alone can keep a country operational; even I know a country would be damned if it wasn’t for the civil servants. That being said, he is wrong in one assumption. Our dynasty likes to occasionally recruit people focused on martial arts because our rulers hail from a family of martial artists. They’re not useless because His Majesty doesn’t see their value or trust them; they just have different duties to civil servants.

“Military officials were never meant to be used as examples for the people or to run a country. They wouldn’t be called military officials if they were. They’re blades; they’re weapons for His Majesty to secure his rule. He needs to have a weapon fight his way out of crises. That’s the whole point of The Ultimate Threes’ existence.

“You think the corrupt civil servants have been able to threaten His Majesty for decades and have not been exterminated by The Ultimate Three overnight because they’re covering their tracks well? Or do you think it’s because they, too, have weapons to defend themselves?”

After a long silence and locking his brows together, He Shi let out an extended exhale. “You make good points. I’ll keep them in mind. My only viable strategy at the moment is to not act rashly.”

“Mm, so you agreeing to his terms or not?‘

“Why are we back to this again?’

“Just asking. If you’re going to agree, how about writing another one while you’re at it.”

“…”

“Okay, okay, don’t give me that look. I know you won’t agree to his deal. How about just writing me one?”

“…”

Still too much? You playing hard to get a bit too much.

“I can’t outright refuse the old fart, so I can accept your request. In return, you need to help me deal with this.”

“Easy.”

“You already have a solution?”

Can’t say I don’t have one. You can say I haven’t a clue.

“Of course. Burn the midnight oil. Write… three. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Three? How are you going to take care of it?”

One for me. One for the old fart. One for you. Everyone wins. Solved, right?

“Secret. He Shi, you have to keep in mind the scoundrel’s background. I can do several hundreds of what he did in a few blinks. By the time I’m done going to the toilet, the problem will be resolved.”

He Shi and I subsequently discussed how he’d respond when the old fart came back. Notwithstanding his apprehensions, He Shi accepted my proposal in the end.

By the time I returned to my room, it was dawn. Nonetheless, I yawned and climbed into bed.

I never imagined the exams would be so tiring. His Majesty sure had it rough. Not only did he have to deal with the conniving Champion White Princes, but his subordinates were also stepping out of line. If I were him, I’d have come up with some excuse to push it all on my son and go on vacation. Shifu was right. Nobody would want to be an Emperor once he’d ruled a mountain for three years.

I didn’t want to ignore He Shi’s problem. However, I had to go back to exams once the sun was up. The proctor patrolling would even come to check our papers, yet I couldn’t even remember what I wrote for the life of me. I was worried sick just trying to work out how I was going to get past this obstacle. Plus, I had to watch out for assassins. Life was miserable. I had been working so hard; wasn’t it normal for me to be sleepy?

As I thought and thought, I dozed off for a while. By the time I woke up, the red sun was already up.

Looks like my sleep quality was bad. How is it still not bright when it was dawn when I dozed off?

“Good work, everyone. The sealing of day two’s papers shall commence in a moment. Examinees who are not writing at night, please start sealing your papers.”

… It’s sunset?! I slept for the entire day?! Has the patrol proctor dropped by?! I haven’t even started preparing for the inspection!

“Hey, what are you yelling about?”

I replied to the scholar-looking guy, “Your momma! When did I ever yell?! Eat a dick!”

Don’t distract me when I’m not even ready for the patrol proctor!

The scholar walked off in tears.

For some reason, nobody came to inspect me even after a while.

Ah, whatever.

I sneaked off to the toilet and infiltrated He Shi’s room once it was dark.

He Shi wasn’t asleep this time. When we met, he chopped me on the head and said, “Light sleep? Your snoring rung across the sky.”

“You heard?”

“Half of the venue heard you. You made the patrol proctor cry when he went to you.”

… So he was…

It wasn’t my fault. It was his fault for being soft.

Is he going to report me? I need to find an opportunity to alter his report before I embarrass myself in front of His Majesty.

“The old fart will be here any moment now. Are you sure I should respond as per our agreement?”

“Absolutely. Just repeat it word for it. Leave the rest to me.”

I found out He Shi wrote one and a half papers already – one for himself and half of the one he was submitting to the old fart. I had my complaints, but what could I have done? After all, He Shi had to ensure the papers he wrote matched the abilities of the person he was writing on behalf of. The one he gave to the old fart would have to be the best – also known as He Shi’s genuine abilities. His own would have to resemble sixth place, while mine just needed to place. That was the equivalent of him taking the exam three times, ensuring he placed all three times. He already did an impressive job considering the time budget.

The shameless old fart finally arrived.

“Hoho, this old one knew you wouldn’t let him down.” Once the old fart saw that the paper was only half complete, he frowned. “Why is it not complete?”

“As it will be presented to His Majesty, it needs to be up to standard. There is still tomorrow. This one will finish before night falls for sure.”

The old fart ruminated on it and then smiled. “No rush. This old one has faith in you.”

Despite what he said, the old fart only felt reassured once he had examined He Shi’s paper in great detail. If His Majesty saw how much better sixth place’s paper was compared to first place’s, the cat would be out of the bag. Although the old fart and his conspirators could destroy a paper, it would be suspicious if His Majesty didn’t see the famous He Shi’s paper. Forging one would take time and manpower, too.

“We are in a time of peace, yet nobody remembers us.” The old fart set the paper down and set a hand on He Shi’s shoulder. “Those meat heads have blinded His Majesty for too long; His Majesty has overlooked us for too long. Nevertheless, he will eventually realise we are the only ones who can show the people the right way. In these times of peace and prosperity, people like you and I are needed to maintain the peace and prosperity.”

“This one understands.”

He Shi saw the old fart out.

The old fart gave me an idea that I shared with He Shi.

“… Only villains like you could come up with this.”

Hey, how can you say that about your saviour?

As soon as I finished discussions with He Shi and arrived back at my room, someone outside called, “Ming Feizhen?”

It was the patrol proctor from earlier.

“Yes,” I replied.

An unsettling silence followed. As I went to ask what he wanted, a spear thrust through the curtains!

Glossary

The nickname Ming Feizhen gave Wang Zhenyun – In Mandarin, Ming Feizhen calls him “Old Wang Eight”, which is a play on words to mean “Old B*stard”. The word play doesn’t work in English, so I went with a different option.