Martial King's Retired Life

When He Shi finally recognised who the man who pushed him down and mounted him was in the middle of the night, he questioned, “Why are you here? How did you get in?”

As if he expelled his tension with his voice, He Shi calmed down.

“I have access to a secret passage. I dug my way here from the toilet.”

“You dug your way here? From the toilet?!” He Shi pinched his nose.

“You got it wrong…” I had to explain how to reached his room and hint multiple times that Prime Minister Li assisted me with the process. All He Shi needed to know was that His Majesty and Prime Minister Li tacitly approved of my actions, so he was in no position to be worrying about the details. He Shi just had to write the answers using my handwriting, or he could forget seeing another day, let alone becoming a civil servant once His Majesty and Prime Minister Li were mad.

“How does that constitute as assisting? Who doesn’t know the Prime Minister has survived in the political arena for so long thanks to his cleverness? It’s obvious he gave you a toilet to cut ties with you. It wouldn’t be his problem if you were caught. Who’d believe the Prime Minister’s assistance comes in the form of a toilet?”

Hey! Stop underestimating toilets! That’s where we do big things!

“Plus, I agreed to mumble the answers once; I never agreed to write your answers for you. You’re asking for too much. I refuse. Please head back to your r-, toilet and do your big things.”

Give me a second to figure out how to convince you! The three most important things in a man’s life are getting promotions, getting filthy rich and celebrating his wife’s death! Wait, no, I meant marrying a wife! I refuse to believe you’re not a man.

“Let’s talk about this. Think about it: the Prime Minister and I are practically best friends, while His Majesty and I have gone through life and death together.”

Did we not go through life and death together when I stuck a shuttle in His Majesty’s bottom? Couldn’t he have had me executed in a fit of rage? Didn’t that count as having gone through life and death together?

“Think about it: would I mistreat you in the future if you helped me cheat? I’m a Duke already. If I put in a word for you at His Majesty’s place, won’t all the glory and riches be yours? It’ll only be a matter of time before you’re climbing to the top of the hierarchy. You’ll have any cap, robe, size gold bars and women you want when you want and how you want. Think about it: we can do this.”

“Hmph.”

I thought about how to find He Shi before I arrived, but I didn’t think about how to persuade him as I never expected him to be so firm in his stance.

Damn it. You can’t force this guy. He has the stubbornness of a scholar and a good head. What do I do…?

He Shi suddenly got to his feet and whipped his sleeve. “I was once eager to link with the influential and nobility to keep profile. Now that the exams are in front of me, I am empowered to pursue my ambitions and earn His Majesty’s respect through competence. I refuse to believe His Majesty doesn’t value talent. I won’t do your bidding.

“Ming Feizhen, I don’t want to criticise you as we were fortunate enough to be acquainted. As scholars, we ought to raise our standards and strive to achieve our goals, not commit deeds that instil a sense of guilt. Should I ever become successful, I hope the people under my jurisdiction will sing praises of a just world, not curse officials for corruption. I hope my family and friends will be proud of me. I hope I can answer every one of my superior’s questions with a clear conscience. That’s all I have to say. Leave. I won’t help you cheat! If you continue to pressure me, I’ll have to call someone over.”

For a moment, I considered giving up on persuading him, knocking him out, taking his paper to copy for myself and then return it to him. However, I heard someone creeping over under the cover of the night. It was obvious to my ears that their destination was He Shi’s room.

“Let’s hit pause for now. Someone is looking for you.”

“Huh?”

I rushed back into the passage.

He Shi’s visitor gently brushed aside his curtain and said, “Stay quiet.”

To his visitor’s surprise, He Shi was as cool as if he was accustomed to visitors at night.

“You’re still awake?”

Even though He Shi had built immunity thanks to me, he was still stunned when he identified his visitor. “Examiner Wang?“

“Indeed.”

The old fart from earlier in the day strutted in and told He Shi to sit.

“May… this one ask what the purpose of your visit is? Did he do something wrong?”

“Of course not, hohoho.” Wang Zhenyun was satisfied with He Shi’s reaction. “Relax. This old one is here because he thinks highly of your abilities.”

He Shi still looked puzzled. Wasn’t it perfectly normal to be baffled if the head examiner suddenly called you over during an exam?

“You know: you are the star everything thinks most highly of among all the examinees this year. No matter how many enter, none of them have a chance of stealing your thunder. This old one never considered anyone else besides you.”

Uh… Is the old far into guys? Interrogating an examinee in his exam room some sort of new fetish I don’t know about?

Probably suspecting the same thing as me, He Shi sweat cold bullets. “Please be frank, Examiner Wang. If you refuse to state the purpose of your visit, this one would like to turn in now.”

“Of course, of course, it is time to rest.” The way Wang Zhenyun grinned and stroked his beard made even my hairs stand up. “This old one is here for… hohoho.”

He Shi retreated three steps and grabbed his inkstone when he saw Wang Zhenyun reached for his sash. Wang Zhenyun pulled out several sheets of paper. “Hoho, this old one wants you to write… an answer paper.”

He Shi pulled his brows together. “What do you mean?”

Like a snake watching a frog, the old fart replied, “This paper will be for this year’s winner. Understand yet?”

He Shi went even paler. Voice low, he asked, “Examiner Wang… what do you mean by this?”

What does he mean by this?! How can you be so stupid?! Even I understand! The shameless old fart is trying mess my plans up!