Martial King's Retired Life

“Of course. I have more than you, in fact.”

Damn, she’s a tough nut to crack. Struggle all you want. This master negotiator will break down you down and spit on you.

“Are you feigning ignorance, Fuma?”

I scratched my head as I chuckled. “I let my joy get the best of me and forgot.”

Zuo Suniang glared daggers at me, but all I could focus on was her scent. “I was never aware you were so shameless. I want to take back my praise for His Majesty from before.”

“You flatter me.”

As a master negotiator, feigning ignorance and provoking people were necessary skills for the job.

I stretched out my hand. “I am all ears.”

It was clear from Zuo Suniang’s unbothered mannerisms that she had prepared a list in case His Majesty sent a messenger. She proudly stated, “Please listen closely. I have four demands. If even one is not met, there is no room for negotiation.”

“Since I am here, I am in a position to call the shots. Feel free to list your demands.”

Zuo Suniang confidently smiled in a most pretty way. “First, I want to expand Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor. Specifically, I wish to expand our manor by half of its size.”

As soon as she started, Zuo Suniang seemed as though she was standing before the grand completion of the manor with her son by her side, speaking aloud her wishes with passion.

“His Majesty can use that as a means of telling the public that we have not fallen out of grace so that the traitors regret their decision, so that those who mocked us will be speechless, so that those watching and waiting for our dem-”

“Wait!” I helped up my hand and exclaimed. I grabbed a brush and sheet of paper from my pocket. “Please give me a moment to write it down. I have a lot on my table at the moment, so I am prone to forgetting things.”

As Zuo Suniang watched on unhappily, I took out an inkstone, inkstick and asked for water. Needless to say, her mood had turned for the worse by quite a bit by the time I was done with my preparations.

Zuo Suniang cleared her throat and gracefully said, “I shall repeat myself again. My first demand is that His Maj-”

“Wait… How do you write the character for ‘to’ in ‘To Your Majesty’?”

“’To’?! When did I ever mention that in anything I said?!”

“This is meant for His Majesty. Can you address His Majesty in a letter without showing due respect?”

Zuo Suniang clenched her fist, walked over to me and reached out to show me how to write the character. I genuinely thought I was going to get hammered. She sat back in her seat once she finished, took a few breaths and then said, “Can I start now? My first dem-”

“Wait!”

“What now?”

“What was your surname, Your Highness?”

“Zuo!”

“Right, right, Zuo.”

“My f-”

“What was your name, Your Highness?”

“You don’t need to write my name!”

“Right, right, Princess Li. I know how to write that.” I smugly focused in on my exquisite calligraphy.

Zuo Suniang hastily repeated her first demand before I started interrupting her. Seeing me diligently write was a relief to her.

“Second, I wish for His Majesty to spare a thought for the separated members of Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor. We used to have filled our place with guests, but they have all turned on us after we were framed.”

If there was an artist around, he’d have drawn a beautiful portrait of a sorrowful maiden shedding a tear as she paid a visit to nostalgia.

“I wish for His Majesty to write a recruitment for us to recruit members once again. Although we cannot restore our former glory, we will be a lot better than now with His Majesty’s help.”

I nodded as I wrote until…

“Okay… If even one is not met, there is no room for negotiation… Okay, okay. What was your first demand again?”

“If you want to fight, just say the word!”

Zuo Suniang jumped to her feet. Had the man behind her not tugged her sleeve and quietly whispered to her, “Calm down. You cannot kill His Majesty’s son-in-law,” she probably would’ve stabbed me in the face with her spear.

“You don’t remember Chinese characters, but you remember every word I say,” Zuo Suniang uttered through her teeth.

I smiled. “I grew up in a poor family, so I did not have the luxury to read. I have to rely on my memory to get by. Your Highness, please repeat what you said.”

“Fine,” Zuo Suniang grouched through her clenched teeth.

From her tone, she was cooperative. From my many years of research into literacy, though, I was pretty sure she wanted to say, “Fine, I’ll repeat it again for you, you stupid bucket-lard of spit,” or something to that effect.

The man at the back quietly warned, “You cannot let him lead you by the nose… You must stick to your plan no matter what he tries. Say a sentence. Watch him finish writing and then go on. Do not let him provoke you.”

From what I could discern, not only was he the strongest in the group but also one of the wisest.

Zuo Suniang was more methodical once she took his advice on board, making sure to watch me finish writing before she continued, and she didn’t lash out again.

“Third, I wish for His Majesty to announce that Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor’s collusion was unfounded and that it had nothing to do with us so that my son receives the justice he deserves, and so that we are not branded traitors who committed treason.”

I couldn’t be too nasty, so I wrote everything down properly this time, making sure to repeat back what I wrote.

“Okay, okay. Northern Wondrous Warrior Manor’s collusion… Nothing to do with us… My son… committed treason. Right. Next?”

I wrote fast, yet Zuo Suniang didn’t look happy. Instead, she glared at me as though she’d swallow me bones and all.

What’s her deal?