Martial King's Retired Life

“Isn’t that why I’m asking you?” I bribed He Shi with a melon seed I peeled.

At first He Shi hesitated, but he took it in the end. His face radiated as he crunched on the seed. “This?”

I gave a big nod. “Frying melon seeds require you to be precise with your ingredients and time. The amounts of aniseeds, cinnamon, allspice, sweet licorice and salt must be spot on. Soak them in water overnight. Leave them to dry for two hours. When you fry them without oil, you need watch the fire. Overdone or underdone won’t bring out the optimal aroma and flavour. Some people can never get it right in their life time.”

He Shi raised his brows. “You made these?”

“Hope my humble efforts are to your liking.”

“Gentlemen stay out of the kitchen. What are you smirking for?” He Shi stretched a hand out to me. “G-give me another one.”

The two of us snacked on melon seeds and drank huangjiu. They say, one would rather snack on melon seeds and drink huangjiu than be gods in heaven.

“On paper, everyone can take part in the contest. In reality, you need to register as a trio in order to avoid a situation where there are an excessive number of contestants. Therefore, only the best group from each class can participate. Suffice to say, it is an unwritten rule. If you wanted, the entire class could register, except you may all be eliminated at the preliminary and make more enemies. That’s why it’s commonly one team per class.”

“I see, I see. There’s no limit to teams… There’s a main contest and preliminary contest now?”

“That’s a foregone conclusion.” He Shi showed me a commiserated expression. “The best sixteen groups will be selected from the preliminary round to begin the public contest. The preliminary round is held without an audience.”

“I see, I see, right, right. Glad. To. Hear. There’s. No. Audience. What’s being contested?”

“The six arts namely: rites, music, archery, chariotry, calligraphy and mathematics. Starting from last year, they added a seventh contest on account of the times – martial arts. Hence, it’s now called the ‘Seven Arts’.”

He Shi went over the seven arts in detail for me. Thankfully, he had a good head and was erudite. Else, it’d take ages to get to the core of the contests.

“Every time a new winner is crowned, a new faction is born. Up until today, every single winner has become influential in the academy. His Highness won two years ago, which is the reason he is called Prince Palace.”

You’re kidding. That little rasc-, actually, he does have the appearance to be an idol.

“Needless to say, he has aptitude and has put in the effort to study. Even without his backing, I’d still consider him a strong rival. His victory wasn’t a surprise.”

“So what you’re saying is that, you didn’t hang around with him back then because of his background? You had other considerations.”

He Shi wore on a long face. “So what if I did? It’s all in the past.”

It’s not like I want to hear about it.

“You guys say there are Four Heavenly Rulers in the academy, right? What the hell is that all about?”

“Didn’t they already explain it to you?”

Yes, but I didn’t understand a single word! What the hell is the Four Heavenly Rulers’ battle or whatever?

“’Palace’ is a placeholder for a special classroom.” He Shi took out a sheet of paper and a brush. He painted a map of the academy, four squares and then their names on each square with accuracy that’d suggest he had a ruler in his eyes. “The winners of the contest have a special privilege – the right to use one of the classrooms in the academy and call it their own. In addition, they can select those who have the right to stay in the class.”

I tugged up an eyebrow. “Oh? Sounds interesting.”

“The classroom His Highness was granted is the classroom Northern Wondrous Warrior used to take classes in. That’s why he and his classroom are referred to as Wondrous Warrior Palace. He personally chose nineteen second-generation officials, which is Zhao Xin and company.”

Rather than saying the academy idol became a new faction, it’d be more precise to say that the academy idol granted power to create a new faction. If one could choose their own clique, then they could grow their circle and, by extension, their power.

“He made sound choices. The people he selected catapulted him into the same realm as the other two who were realms ahead of him, ushering in a three-way era until there was a winner last year, which broke the balance.” He Shi’s hand came to a halt as he paused. “The four current Palaces in the academy are Wondrous Warrior Palace, Flower Plucking Palace, Iron Head Palace and Freedom Palace.”

“Pause! The heck is ‘Iron Head’ doing in there?!”

“It’s not the martial art discipline. Don’t just parse what I say however you want. The classroom is owned by the best fighter at the academy and the one with the best chances of passing the imperial martial arts exam, Che Gulu.”

“Wait, what’s his name again?”

“He’s a Keliya from Beijiang. Keliyas often take the ‘Che’ surname. He grew up in Beijiang and then migrated to the capital with his father later on, so his Mandarin is iffy. In contrast, he’s a great fighter. As far as I’m aware, he’s formidable with his club in the capital. I don’t know martial arts, but I heard he defeated Liu Shan Men’s Shen Yiren last year inside fifty exchanges.”

He did?

Even if it was last year’s news, that would still be commendable. If it was true, Tang Ye wouldn’t be his match right now. Hong Jiu might even lose if he didn’t use Eighteen Subduing Dragon Palms.

“Flower Plucking and Freedom Palaces… we’ll skip over as they won’t participate. Those who’ve obtained the privileges are unlikely to partake again because they’ll only receive some prizes for winning. Should they lose, though, their reputation will hit rock bottom. In addition, their special rights and title will be revoked. I suggest you scout out the remaining competitors.”

“Makes sense. Makes sense. I have a question I’m dying to ask: don’t you feel embarrassed to say those nicknames?”

“No. Consider how embarrassing it is to be the one called those names.”

Fair point…

“Last question: Su Xiao… my boys were begged to sign up. Why?”

He Shi pointed to the classroom behind him as if it had nothing to do with him. “Simple: because the class is lousy. This class is the bottom rung of the academy. Nearby is the storage room. It doesn’t have its own courtyard. It’s far from the library. There are holes in the class’ floor, walls and ceilings. It’s cold in winter and hot in summer. Insects, bugs and rodents frequently visit. Our desks aren’t too shabby, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s because we bought them out of our own pockets.”

“…”

“Instead of being able to go straight to the food court, we have to exit the academy and go around to reach it. The only proper room in our vicinity is the principal’s room.”

Say what?!

I jumped to my feet. “We have a food court here?!”

He Shi looked up, stupefied. “You didn’t know? I thought you were dieting or something. No wonder why I’ve never seen you there.”

I didn’t bloody know! Diet?! Are you out of your mind?! Who cares if it’s far? If there’s free food, I’ll go to the end of the world for it!

“Is the classroom really that dilapidated, though?” Besides it being too close to Uncle Huang’s room, I thought the room was fine.

“Pull on this window if you don’t believe me.”

I figured I might as well find out. As soon as I tugged on it, I heard a crack, so I pulled away. The window frame was left half-open, with a part of it suspended in the air. That said, it wasn’t broken.

I patted my chest. “Although it’s a tad old, it’s still g-”

Rumble! Never did I think the six neighbouring folding windows would come crashing into the ground, revealing the view of my classmates in the middle of class.

Wu Dayong, with tears welling up in his eyes, bobbed his head. “Yep, it’s that bad.”

I gulped. “… Worry not. I will sign up for the competition.”

My classmates: “We’re putting our faith in you!”

Don’t worry. Even if it’s not for your sakes, I wouldn’t dare to lose.

“Tang Ye and Su Xiao alone won’t be enough to secure our victory… Are there any other suitable helpers…?”

“You plan to seek help? Wise, but you’re not the only one who can come up with that.”

“What are you implying?”

He Shi had a drink of huangjiu, then smacked his lips. “According to the principal, there are quite a number of competitors this time. The imperial palace was lively this morning.”

Glossary

Huangjiu – A popular alcoholic beverage in Jiangnan. Translated, it means ”yellow wine”.

Gentlemen stay out of the kitchen – This is the current meaning of the phrase (which is designed for this context). Originally, Mencius used it to express his reluctance to eat meat after seeing an animal waiting to be butchered.

Six arts – Together, they formed the basis of education in ancient Chinese culture. If you could excel in all six arts, you had mastered the highest levels of education. There are actually two sets, one being “Rites of Zhou” and the other being the six Confucius promoted after the Spring and Autumn Period.

Iron Head – The joke is lost in translation. “Palace” and the word attached to Iron Head is commonly used as “martial arts discipline”, both of which are pronounced the same way. Therefore, Ming Feizhen hears “Iron Head Discipline”. I changed the joke to him mishearing/selectively listening so that it works.