Martial King's Retired Life

I grabbed the hand Hong Jiu was staring at and locked up the man with an extra hand print on his cheek. In a loud voice, I said, “Congratulations, Brother Hong Jiu. You have mastered ‘Five Lakes Four Oceans Are Brothers, A Knockout-Sensational Face Mask’. The inconceivably profound discipline is said to cause the face of whoever you slap to erode in three days, rot by the fifth day and become acid within ten days. It is safe to assume we are now only waiting for news of a funeral from their family. I hope they make it in time to pre-order a casket, hahaha.”

“Ming Feizhen,” Zhou Teng quietly hollered.

“Yeah?”

“… You don’t think you went too far?”

“Did I?”

A few of my classmates nodded in unison. He Shi couldn’t even speak, yet he forced himself to choke out a bloody, “Yes.”

“… That being the case, let me call them back, and you can sort them out on your own,” I replied.

All those who were against me: “You didn’t go too far at all. We trust you!”

Wu Dayong and Zhou Teng also dragged He Shi off so that he couldn’t object.

That’s what I like to see. The less secrets of the martial world you know about, the safer you are.

Based on Master Qi’s squealing voice, she would’ve only been, at max, nineteen years old. While Hong Jiu was holding back, no family name came to mind when I pondered which family could raise such a competent daughter. I took out my sparkling-clean-unblemished copy of Pink Reflection. Once every June and December, they released an updated version of the martial world’s beauties, and this was the latest edition I just got my hands on. I’ll have you know it cost me half of my monthly salary.

Let’s see… Among “Seven Ethereal Angels of Jade Capital” who’ve shot to fame recently… None of them fit the description. None of the “Heavenly Angels”, “Earth Angels” or “Prodigious Angels” matches her, either. If I’m judging based on her skill and physique, there are, at least, fifty suspects.

“Second, Second.”

“Y-yeah?” stuttered Hong Jiu.

“Be honest: how did it feel?”

“… Hard.”

Well, there goes half of them, then. I still can’t think of anyone, though…

Seeing all my classmates staring at Hong Jiu, I questioned, “What?”

Wang Zi was the only one bold enough to speak up. “Um… Who is this? He’s strong.”

“Ah, Brother Hong here is the new cleaner around here. He knows a little bit of martial arts, so you can seek his advice if you ever want some fitness or self-defence advice.”

The fiasco that took place moments ago evaporated into nothingness as Hong Jiu stole their attention.

Wu Dayong: “Brother Hong, what’s your name?”

Hong Jiu had yet to return to us, so I had to answer in his place. “His name is, uh… Hong Lyushan.”

“Ah?” My female classmates freaked out again.

Zhou Teng: “How did you two get acquainted?”

“He’s my distant relative’s third uncle’s second nephew’s ninth uncle’s childhood friend who lived on the same street.”

“Brother Hong, may I ask what sect you are from?”

“Brother Lyushan is tuckered out for today, so I shall see him back. Catch you all tomorrow. It was nice to meet you all. See you, see you.” I had to escort Hong Jiu back to Liu Shan Men.

That was a close one. My classmates were far too fervent, which made them hard to deal with sometimes. I had to spend the rest of the day thinking about what to tell them tomorrow.

Why does it feel like I forgot something? Eh, whatever. Can’t be important if I forgot about it.

***

I was so exhausted after the long and eventful day that I took a rest, had dinner and bathed for an hour after I returned. Subsequently, it was time for my routine meeting with Boss in her room.

“Huh, didn’t see that coming.” I bobbed my head as I continued, “Losing something as important as Yongheng Bank or whatchamacallit’s passed-down item is embarrassing.”

“Well, Uncle lost the imperial seal when he was young, resulting in Her Majesty Empress Dowager chewing him out.” Boss had her comb in one hand whilst using her fist to rest her chin on. Most importantly, she only wore one layer of clothing. “Of the seven cases I tackled today, this is the only case I haven’t cracked. Feizhen, help me out. Where do you think it could’ve gone?”

”I’d hazard Zhao Xin stole it; he doesn’t look like a good guy to me. That said, given the complex networks in Daren Academy, I’d assume he’s working for someone. He alone doesn’t have what it takes to steal it.”

“I agree. Nice.” Boss scrubbed my head with joy.

“Ehehe.”

Wait, something is off… Aren’t Boss and I a little too close recently?

Reflecting on it, it dawned on me that I entered Boss’ room after washing up, and she greeted me from her makeup table as though they were totally natural behaviours to us.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Ah, right.” I resumed massaging Boss’ shoulders whilst musing.

“The imperial court is gradually increasing the volume of jobs delegated to Liu Shan Men, which means more eyes than ever are on us. The moment we trip, someone is going to leverage our mistake to make a case against us. I can’t stop for Yongheng Bank. Luckily, you’re at Daren Academy, so I’ll leave the case, and He Shi’s assault case, in your hands.”

“Got it.”

“I’ve ordered Yan Ling and Xiao Han to attend classes with you so that they have more room to investigate the case. I want you to back them up.”

Say what?! They’re attending Daren Academy? I have a bad feeling about this…

***

And… my classmates brimmed with curiosity towards our two new handsome (one handsome and one beautiful?) classmates, as expected.

“This is… my henchman and my, uh… maid.”

“Big Brother Ming!” Su Xiao stretched his eyes as wide as they would go. “I’m your brother!”

My classmates: “Really?!”

My classmates scanned Tang Ye as if he was some rare species. Tang Ye, in turn, spent a long time in silence before he finally stated, “100% man,” disappointing everyone.

Wu Dayong informed, “Ming Feizhen, the teacher called for you.”

We haven’t even started classes. What does he want to see me for? Oh, he must want to show appreciation for my brave rescue yesterday.

Really, they were all too kind. I performed good deeds three to four hundred times a day. I mean, I definitely needed the rewards, but I didn’t need them so soon. Hohoho, the life of a hero is not easy, young one.

“It’s nothing worth mentioning, hahaha.”

Wu Dayong: “It’s nothing worth mentioning? Man, you have a fan in me.”

“Too kind. Too kind. Who’s the teacher?”

“The principal. He said he’d skin you today for standing him up yesterday. I can’t believe you’re still so calm. You really are a different breed. Hey, slow down. He’s at the pavilion in the centre of the pond, not his room… I thought he didn’t care. He has faster feet than hares.”

Glossary

Ming Feizhen’s monthly salary – The salary he refers to when speaking about the cost of Pink Reflection is his constable salary, not his earnings as a duke. There are different terms for salaries in old times, and this is an example of one such salary.

Jade Capital – What daoists refer to the Jade Emperor’s residence as.

Hong Lyushan – I’m not sure if this is going to become a joke reference or not, particularly since Ming Feizhen made a point to say “Brother Lyushan”, so I’ll put it here in case. “Lyushan” literally means “Green mountain(s)”.