Martial King's Retired Life

Volume 11.5 Chapter 11

“Allow me to introduce you.” Sitting around the table in Xu Yanran’s room, Hua Qing began, “This is Yanran, daughter of Master Xu. She has borne with all the hardships I have ever since her family’s misfortune. Yanran, this is Su Li. You can call her Miss Su. She is, uh… also a victim of those people.”

Xu Yanran didn’t need more information to figure out why Hua Qing needed to stay a while longer at Three Gorges Dam and why he stuttered when introducing the maiden younger than herself. Xu Yanran saw Hua Qing as a brother figure after spending so long on the run with him; she hoped her brother could find love. Curbing her urge to chuckle, she, glancing Hua Qing’s way, expressed, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Su. You can just call me Yanran. Brother Hua’s friend is my friend.”

Su Li had plenty of questions, but etiquette stipulated she respond in kind. “The pleasure is mine, Sister Yanran. I owe Young Master Hua for taking care of me on the journey.”

“Young Master? Oh, oh.” Xu Yanran dimpled.

Hua Qing: “This young man is incredible! Yanran, he is the erudite, courageous, heroic individual I told you would help us, Hero Ming, can you put your dumplings down for a second?”

“Huh?” Ming Feizhen frowned.

Xu Yanran still couldn’t fathom how Ming Feizhen would accomplish the feat, but neither Su Li nor Hua Qing made any effort to enlighten her. Little did she know that they didn’t know, either, let alone explain.

“Whatever the case, just know that he is a friend. He is on our side… probably.”

Xu Yanran needed a moment before she could nod because Ming Feizhen’s ability to eat five dumplings simultaneously arrested her attention.

“Be nice to her,” Hua Qing whispered. “Your shifu wants you to marry, doesn’t he? How you going to accomplish that the way you are?”

Ming Feizhen flinched, then looked up at Hua Qing. Hua Qing gestured with his eyes and head toward Xu Yanran. Catching on, Ming Feizhen asked Xu Yanran, “You have someone to introduce to me?”

Xu Yanran: “???”

Hua Qing whispered, “I meant for you to fix your attitude.”

Ming Feizhen set his chopsticks down, performed a visual audit of Xu Yanran from head to toe, then demanded, “Hey, let me touch your butt.”

Su Li pulled Xu Yanran into her arms. “Young Master Hua, put him in line!”

“Come with me!” Hua Qing dragged Ming Feizhen deeper into the room, far enough from the small living room to ensure the tow maidens couldn’t hear them. He let go of Ming Feizhen’s hand but kept his back facing the boy.

“You want to throw hands?”

Hua Qing pivoted around. “I… want to m-”

“Make a shady deal?”

“Shady?! Why shady?! It’s not shady!”

“What do you want, then?”

“Look, fate must’ve let us run into each other while I’m in this situation. I’m thinking th-”

“You want me to slaughter my way into Liu Shan Men and take Yan Shisan’s head?”

“You sure are bold!”

“I never said I would.”

“Why even bring it up, then?! Stop cutting me off when I’m speaking!” Hua Qing was legitimately scared for a moment because Ming Feizhen suggested the idea with a straight face. “You’re in the pugilistic world for a wife and a hundred thousand taels, no?”

“Oh? You heard?” Ming Feizhen turned his fingers into steely clamps.

“Wait, wait, wait! I don’t need to be silenced for that, do I?! You’re the one who spilt the beans when he was sleeping.”

Ming Feizhen relaxed his hands. “And?”

“I want to make a deal with you. In exchange for helping you complete your mission, can you help me clear my name and then… teach me some martial arts as well as share some experience in the pugilistic world?”

Ming Feizhen titled his head. “Clearing your name isn’t difficult. It’s pretty much just finding the true mastermind and then contacting orthodox sects. Teaching you some martial arts is no big deal seeing as I didn’t learn martial arts from my shifu. What do you mean by sharing experience in the pugilistic world, though?”

“I’ve always dreamt of being a hero in the pugilistic world, but I’ve never hacked it, so I’ve never truly tried adventuring. I, uh… hope you can bring me along when you take care of business. I’ll be happy just to take on some goons or miscellaneous jobs. Otherwise, I’ll be fine just watching from the sideline.” Hua Qing could feel moisture building up in his hands as he spoke.

Hua Qing’s dream of becoming a hero started from the moment he picked up a wooden rod as a sword and wore on a headband to play hero as a kid. Instead of letting his perilous circumstances crush his hopes, it fuelled his desire to become a hero more than ever before.

“Easy. Come along if you like.”

Although it only took Ming Feizhen a second to nod, Hua Qing felt as though hours had passed.

Ming Feizhen inquired, “Can you seriously help me if I help you?”

“It’s not a hard task. Master Xu provided me with a decent amount of money. Even if it doesn’t come to a hundred thousand, surely Repository Jade can’t be worth less than that by much given how many people are fighting for it.”

Ming Feizhen stroked his chin. “Hmm… Should be worth three hundred thousand if you ask me.”

“That’s even better! If I give you Repository jade, then your money issue is solved.”

Ming Feizhen: Hmm… even if I can’t sell it, you can’t argue I obtained a hundred thousand if I take it back. I’d rather not have to do the leg work to collect a hundred thousand. Even if it’s possible, it’d take me ages.

“Okay, so that’s a hundred thousand taels solved. What about my wife?”

“Come on.” Hua Qing grinned. “Who do you think I am? All the other men automatically lose the moment I enter the picture. With me coaching you, there’s not a woman you can’t court.”

Ming Feizhen slapped Hua Qing.

“What the hell?!”

“You can lie to me, but you can’t insult my intelligence.”

“I’m serious! I get flustered in front of Miss Su, but the ladies are usually all over me everywhere I go.”

Ming Feizhen inspected Hua Qing. His shifu always magnetised the ladies with a similar appearance, so…

“… Let’s go with that for now.”

“High five to seal the deal!” Not only did Hua Qing now feel safe but also excited for what was in store. “Can you not call me Hua Buxing, Hua Meiyong or Hua Huahui and the sort in Miss Su’s presence? We haven’t even known each other for two days, yet you’ve already given me a bunch of derisive nicknames.”

“Sure, Hua Badan.”

“What did I just say, you runt?!”

“What do I call you, then?” Ming Feizhen pouted.

“Can’t you just call me ‘Brother Hua’?”

Ming Feizhen shook his head. “Only people have called me ‘Brother’. I’ve never called anyone ‘Brother’.”

“People call you ‘Brother’? How old are you?”

“Doesn’t matter how old I am. You have to call me ‘Brother’. It’s the rule.”

“Ah, pfft, there’s no faction in the pugilistic world exercising such a rule.”

“When did I ever say it’s an exclusive rule of the pugilistic world? It’s my rule.”

“Toss your rule! Why should people adhere to your rule?! I refuse!”

“My second brother is two years older than me. He also refused at first.”

This kid has a junior? By the sounds of it, he must have more than one. If they were all released into the world… God, have mercy on this world.

“Uh, what happens if he refuses? Do you fight him?”

“Nah. One time, I lost it with him, so I dragged him by the foot and buried him in a pit of dung to train his respiratory system.”

“Brother.”

“Good boy.”

I’m never messing with him when there’s a pit of dung nearby!

“But, uh, you don’t need to make me look bad in front of people, do you? Let’s do this: I’ll call you ‘Brother’ when we’re alone. When other people are around, you call me ‘Brother Hua’, and I’ll call you ‘Brother Feizhen’. I’ll be the older brother in public, and you be the older brother when we’re alone. What do you say?” Hua Qing’s feet already pointed toward the exit.

“Okay.”

“Cool. Let’s head back now. We don’t want to make them wait for too long.” Hua Qing headed back with an arm draped over Ming Feizhen’s shoulder. “For real, though, you can’t be so direct with girls. If you want a wife, the first thing you need to do is be likeable. You need to show your cool side; you can’t just always be wolfing down food or wearing a straight face. You’re not trying to scare them off, after all. Plus, if this is your attitude now, you’re going to be a problem when you grow older.”

Afraid the atmosphere would be awkward, Xu Yanran started with a smile. “Whatever the case, I’m glad you’re back, Brother Hua. While you were gone, more and more people have taken up arms to apprehend you. I think even Liu Shan Men has dispatched constables, so I was worried you had been taken into custody when your ship didn’t arrive on schedule.”

“Hahaha, I was fine. Ahem, Brother Feizhen, you should introduce yourself properly.” Hua Qing used his eyes to communicate, “Stay cool. Stay cool.”

Ming Feizhen wiped the oil off his mouth. “Hey.”

Xu Yanran recoiled/ “H-hello… I’m Xu Yanran.”

Ming Feizhen tugged up a corner of his lips. “I’m Ming Chengwu. Pleasure to meet you.”

Hua Qing jumped to his feet:.“Why did you name yourself that?! Also, don’t you think it’s overkill?!”

“Sorry, I was joking.” Ming Feizhen cleared his throat, then extended a hand toward Xu Yanran. “I’m Ming Mieba (Ming Overlord of Destruction). Pleasure to meet you.”

“Your name is Ming Feizhen! Also, your idea of ‘cool’ is wrong! Nobody understands your joke! Who the heck is Ming Mieba?!”

Ming Feizhen furrowed his brows. “It’s the primary antagonist of a book I recently read called ‘Father’s Lianmeng Planting Woe’. It’s all the rage on Mount Wudang at the moment.”

“Nobody has ever read it! I bet my life nobody has read it! Also, no girl thinks it’s cool!”

Su Li raised her hand up to reluctantly. “Actually… I think it’s a cool name.”

Xu Yanran: “Me too.”

“Do you two have no principles?!”

Su Li and Xu Yanran: “What?”

“I give up. In short… His name is Ming Feizhen… correct?”

“Correct. I like coconuts. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Stop! Why do you keep trying that gag? Even those who can keep up are losing the plot now! Anyway, we were discussing how to pay Zhuo Fengru a visit. His estate is in Yichang, but he is usually on the move. As such, we don’t know if he’s home. If we visit while he’s out, we may expose ourselves.”

“Let me give you your first class for success in the pugilistic world.”

“Although your tone leaves a lot to be desired, please do tell.”

“Sometimes, opportunity will come knocking by itself.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to m-”

A tall man infiltrated their room on the third floor via the window connecting to the streets. Spotting the swordsman, Hua Qing linked up Ming Feizhen’s advice and questioned, “M-might you be Hero Zhuo?!”

“Shut up!” The man dressed in black kicked Hua Qing into the wall, cracking the wall. “I’ve been searching for you for longer than a year! Today will be your funeral.” He eyed the room, then queried, “Where are Ma Hanshan and the others?”

“… Since you set a trap on the ship, I figured the storyteller must’ve boarded ahead, which would’ve given him time to notify his superiors.” Ming Feizhen lazily rose. “Based on their line of thought, capturing you wouldn’t be the end of it. You think they wouldn’t treat you to a torture feast after all the investments they made to capture you? Accordingly, they have to have an exchange point. As the ship’s destination was Yichang, I doubted their allies would wait at the pier. I’m sure they already kept tabs on us the moment we showed ourselves. Instead of chasing them around mindlessly, why not wait for them to come to us? That’s what I was trying to say.” Ming Feizhen glanced over to starry-eyed Hua Qing and sighed. “That being said, I didn’t think a certain somebody would comprehend it the way he did.”

“Kid, you’ve got quite the mouth, huh?” The man exposed a corner of his white pearls. “What are you going to do when trouble visits, though?”

“Sixteen.”

“What?”

“I stand corrected. Seventeen.”

“What are you talking about?” The man reactively squeezed his hilt harder.

Ming Feizhen folded his arms. “There are seventeen of you, yet they’re making you charge in first. Don’t you think it’s unfair?”

“Sh-shut up!”

“As men of the pugilistic world, honour is our dignity. For better or worse, we stick together. In the same vein, if you’re going to take a beating, you should all take a beating, no?”

“Y-” The man flew out the window at the same angle he came in against his will. Next thing everyone heard was a loud thud of bones and flesh against concrete. Those who saw him crash land onto the ground would’ve easily thought he accidentally fell out of the window.

Ming Feizhen looked at his hand and sighed. “Man, I’ve been training for so long, yet I still can’t control it?” He went to the window, then said, “If you want to live, follow me,” and then leapt out the window.

Su Li and Xu Yanran looked at each other: How are we supposed to keep up?

The two maidens lugged Hua Qing out of the building to find ten-odd armed men besieging Ming Feizhen. Unlike the usual scene of villains surrounding the hero, the armed men were clearly the sort of men one would deem the heroes forced to draw their blades. They weren’t the sort of men one would underestimate. Relatively speaking, they appeared superior to the swordsman who stormed into their room.

The bystanders certainly seemed to believe the armed men were in the right, evoking concern in Su Li and Xu Yanran’s minds. If the citizens misunderstood the roles, Ming Feizhen would be in trouble. If officers arrived on the scene and the citizens provided incorrect information, all of them would be in trouble.

Contrary to the opinions of bystanders, the cult followers of Lord Miguo were astonished they were being perceived as heroes. After all, they couldn’t name one dignifying thing they’d done in years besides saying “good morning” to the cleaner at their doors.

A fellow attired as a scholar voiced, “Hoho, worry not. This is our first visit here. We are not here to busk or sell snake oil. We are here solely to show you the magic of martial arts.”

Ming Feizhen: “Got roids?”

“Great question. That is our…” Realising what he was responding to, he went red in the face, much to the amusement of bystanders.

Ming Feizhen shrugged. “I had no idea you were so down to earth. Had we gotten to know each other sooner, I’d give you a penny. Unfortunately, I’m broke recently, so I can’t help. Hang in there for a few more days. I’ll go watch you busk.”

“Y-you conniving little runt. We shall serve you your penance for humiliating this esteemed gentleman.”

As embarrassing as it was for the group, they probably appreciated the support of the people in their situation.

Su Li shouted, “Since you call yourselves heroes, fight him one on one. Have you no shame, ganging up on a child?”

“No need, Sister Su.”

Hearing the “Sister” prefix for the first time from Ming Feizhen, Su Li couldn’t help blushing. “But y-”

“See this?”

Before anyone saw him move, Ming Feizhen already had a sword and strip of cloth in his hands that weren’t there a blink ago. Meanwhile, the scholar was less a sword - scabbard included - and his hairy legs were on full display.

Flared up and abashed, he pulled his pants up. “Who are you?!”

The man on the ground, still in a hazy state of mind, warned, “Watch out! He’s a monster!”

“Monster?” Ming Feizhen looked around to see everyone as rigid as if they were in a pool of freezing water. “Have you seen a monster?” He slowly stretched out his right hand, pressed his thumb to his middle finger, then, wearing a straight face, threatened, “Don’t make me snap my fingers.”

“I thought I told you to drop that act!” The cure for Hua Qing’s coma turned out to be extreme irritation.

Glossary

Hua Buxing - Useless flower

Hua Meiyong - Useless flower

Hua Huahui - Withering flower.

Brother - Hua Qing and Ming Feizhen demand each other address the other as brother (older). The distinction doesn’t exist in English unless we add the “Younger” and “Big” prefixes. To overcome this issue, I’m running with last name and first name basis.