Chapter 770: Leaving Early
"Oh no…"
Valerie interlocked her arm with her son\'s and smiled proudly.
"It\'s a good thing you\'re up. I was worried that you would try to sleep through your sister\'s celebration."
"Celebration..? Is she talking already?"
The baby stared at Bashenga, and he stared back at her.
"…She\'s not a very charming conversationalist."
"Oh, and you are?" Valerie rolled her eyes.
This was the first and only time that Bashenga seemed like he was about to smile at a joke made at his expense. "…Touché, mother. Touché indeed."
Valerie smiled and started pulling her son down the hallway.
"Come on. We\'ll only be there for two hours at the maximum, so you\'ll be able to come back here soon and be my favorite little edgelord again."
"Ha. And how long before you inevitably succumb to your nefarious drinking habits and embarrass our family prestige?"
"How can I even be sure? Just as a safety net, bring me a bottle of water if I start staring at your father for too long." Val nodded responsibly.
"As if that would prevent you from embarrassing our house and putting your hands all over him when the mood strikes you."
Bashenga had already seen instances of this scenario many times.
"Hey, take it easy on me. Your old man\'s a real good looking piece of man-meat, you know? A woman\'s gotta stake her claim or the fleas around him might start daydreaming."Valerie defended.
The aforementioned piece of man meat had yet to say a word and just watched this entire scene in wonder.
"Yes, yes, I\'m aware of father\'s criminally charming appearance and the effect it has on others. Hence the reason I am even less inclined to attend this event.
Spending the day in the presence of uncouth erections and lecherous secretions isn\'t high on my list of fun ways to spend time."
"Nothing is on your list of fun things, baby boy, you stay at home in your room all day. But hey, if you come with us, then I\'ll let you destroy the home of any unscrupulous enough to stare at your father for longer than five seconds."
Bashenga stared at her seriously. "… Are you so certain?"
"Scouts honor." Valerie held up her hand in agreement.
Bashenga cracked a small smile in agreement.
He thrives on opportunities to assert his dominance.
"Great! Then let\'s get you fixed up."
Valerie snapped her fingers and Bashenga was suddenly outfitted with a red skirt and a gold choker and earrings. She also adjusted his hair and pushed his lips upward until it looked like he was smiling.
"How do you feel? Handsome?"
"Please, mother. As if clothes could make this form of mine any more appealing than it already is."
"Gods, you really are my son. You\'ve got my lack of humility and everything."
"It is one of my favorite traits."
"Awww!"
Valerie and Bashenga walked through the hall arm in arm as if they were in their own little world.
Meanwhile, Abaddon and the other wives were stuck standing in place gobsmacked.
Lisa: "She just… made it look so easy."
Tatiana: "I think that\'s the most I\'ve ever heard him talk without being moody. What brand of black magic is this..?"
Eris: "I think it\'s because they\'re both kind of assholes it cancels out..? Like PEMDAS."
Audrina: "Does that track, Lailah? I\'m bad at math."
Lailah: "It does, but even math doesn\'t fully explain what we just saw."
Bekka: "Fucking unbelievable…"
Today, the Tathamets learned firsthand that even if you literally know God, you can still be surprised by miracles.
-
Birth festivals have always been big in Tehom.
But this year, things had done a real upturn.
Every city in the abyss was off work and using their energy to brighten up their home in celebration of life, love, and fertility.
Plus, gods were coming here today.
Many of Tehom\'s residents have always wanted to fuck a god.
Though not because they were more attractive than dragons… they just fulfilled a very specific fantasy.
They were like humans, but less prone to breaking.
And since the average male Nevi\'im is over seven feet tall… breaking is always a very serious concern.
Serana Aihara was a nineteen year old human girl from earth who had never even been outside of the United States before.
But since she\'d been in Tehom, she found herself muttering one single phrase every day.
"This place is a fucking fever dream..!"
Was it the dragons doing somersaults in the air that brought about this exclamation?
Could it have been the floating castle\'s rooftop garden that she was currently partying on?
Or maybe it was the dancing magical fireworks in the shape of babies and storks?
It even could have been the lines of gods she could see from her table who were all coming to bring her in-laws gifts.
But no.
Serana\'s fascination was with the piece of cake on her plate.
"I actually can\'t stop eating this… I swear I\'m going to be two hundred pounds heavier by the time this vacation is over."
A napkin suddenly dabbed the stray icing on her lips.
Tiamat smiled seductively as she cleaned up their newest addition.
"Don\'t worry. You\'re doing so much \'exorcise\' at night that I think you might\'ve lost weight." Tiamat slipped her hand under the table.
Serana\'s face turned bright red and she nearly bled all over her white cake. "O-Oh, Jesus…"
"Hm, seems I was right. You\'re definitely a bit thinner here than when I first got to taste-"
"I knew that I was mistaken in coming here. Can none of you keep your hands off of each other\'s genitalia for more than an hour\'s time?"
The Tathamet children looked up at Bashenga as if they had almost forgotten that he was there. Which, in hindsight, is easy to accomplish when one doesn\'t speak for over an hour.
The good mood he had begun building with his mother had been crushed and trampled on by his overly affectionate siblings.
At least Thea had the decency to leave the table before she started her unsavory business.
"I also take issue with this." Gabbrielle put her fork down. "I find it very inappropriate and-"
Bashenga cut her short. "Please, I\'m referring to you too. If I hear Daphne call you \'My little Peach-Pit\' one more time, then I might scream."
Gabbrielle and her girlfriend lowered their heads in embarrassment.
"Hell yea! You tell em, baby brother!" Thrudd stood up and raised her fist proudly. "It\'s time the annoying couples around this house learned to keep their fucking-"
"Spare me, sister." Bashenga snorted. "You\'re no better than they are, you\'re just too cowardly to even breathe in the same hallway as Behemoth."
Thrudd sat back down and buried her face inside of her napkin- her spirit crushed and her embarrassment known to all.
Courtney placed her hand on her brother\'s shoulder and gave him a look of concern.
"You seem like you\'re in a worse mood than normal." Courtney asked worriedly. "Fighting with Gaia again?"
"What? I…"
Bashenga\'s face became contorted and he stood up abruptly.
"I need some air."
"We\'re on a rooftop?"
"Don\'t get smart with me."
Bashenga sprouted his wings and flew off the castle balcony into the city below.