BXBX NOVEL Chapter 51 - In This Moment
Chapter 51 | In This Moment
Mrs. Flambard held onto Rienne, her face and voice both incredibly serious.
[Mrs. Flambard] “And I’ll tell you this because you don’t have any experience, Princess, but it isn’t a good idea to have sex during this time of the month. No matter how tempting it may be to indulge in each other’s bodies, you must avoid it. Do you understand?”
Rienne was so shocked to hear the word ‘sex’ so bluntly, that she shook her head as though she were stunned, and her eyes looked around, not sure where to settle.
[Rienne] “That’s not why we’re doing this. It’s far too sudden for something like that.”
Now Mrs. Flambard was making a strange face.
[Mrs. Flambard] “I’m sorry? Then why are you sharing a bed tonight?”
Whether it be married members of the royal family or any common noble couple, unless they intended to engage in physical relations, there was no need for them to share a bed.
There were cases where their bedrooms were side by side, but it wasn’t common in the slightest for them to regularly share a room. Something like that was viewed as being only for the poor folk who could not afford to have separate bedrooms.
So what Rienne was saying right now was very strange.
[Rienne] “Because….it’s nice?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Who said that? Did he?”
[Rienne] “…….Yes.”
Tch, the woman clicked her tongue.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Goodness, you are too naïve, Princess.”
[Rienne] “What do you mean?”
[Mrs. Flambard] “Would he really be satisfied with just sleeping in the same bed?”
[Rienne] “It’s possible……..”
That’s how it was for her, at least.
[Mrs. Flambard] “Well, there are rumors saying he prefers men, though I don’t know that much about it.”
[Rienne] “That’s just a rumor.”
[Mrs. Flambard] “I don’t know, Princess. With what you’re saying, there may be some truth to it.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
That wasn’t it.
[Mrs. Flambard] “If that’s the case, then I’m just worrying over nothing. I’ll finish talking here and leave you to rest. Please sleep comfortably tonight, Princess.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
Rienne stayed silent until the woman left her bedroom.
She felt if she tried to open her mouth, she’d only end up coming out feeling very embarrassed. Especially if she tried to refute her words with examples of things that happened in the past.
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She couldn’t find the best position for their pillows.
Rienne turned them over again and again, listening to the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom.
If their pillows were too close, she’d feel really shy but if she set them too far apart, then he might think she was pushing him away or refusing him.
Then at some point, she felt very weird inside.
……What am I doing? They’re just pillows.
Fluff. Fluff.
Rienne gently dropped the pillow back down, which was now a little deflated because of how much she was manhandling it.
[Rienne] “…….But that looks too far apart.”
She took the pillows and narrowed the distance between them.
[Rienne] “Alright, that’s it. I won’t mess with them anymore.”
Rienne lifted up the edge of the blanket and slipped herself inside. And just as she did, the sound of water stopped. It wouldn’t be long until Black came in, smelling fresh like water.
…..All of the sudden, it felt like she didn’t have enough air. She wasn’t thinking about anything, but her cheeks were still flushed. Rienne pulled the blanket over her head, covering her face.
Badum. Badum….
Time came to a crawl, and she could hear every second being lulled along by the beating of her heart. As time slowed, so did her eyes, gently coming to a sleepy close.
Squeak.
And if it hadn’t been for the small sound of a door opening, she probably would’ve fallen asleep.
[Black] “…….This is a little….”
Now I’m thinking something bad.
For a brief moment, Rienne thought she heard him mutter that to himself. But just as she opened her eyes to ask him what was wrong—
[Rienne] “……..!”
The blanket that was covering her face was quickly pulled down, and as soon as her face was revealed, she felt the sensation of him pressing his lips against hers.
[Black] “I know you’re not asleep.”
Black muttered, gently tugging at her bottom lip in a way that only tickled.
[Black] “Open your eyes.”
Then she felt him sweetly wrapped his hands around the sides of her face.
She listened, quietly opening her eyes, but she didn’t realize how close he would be. She was so embarrassed, she just wanted to close them again.
[Rienne] “I wasn’t pretending to sleep…….”
Rienne’s voice was as quiet as a whisper.
Though it didn’t matter that she was quiet. They were so close to each other that if one of them uttered even the smallest of words, their breath would be burned into their skin.
[Black] “Then what’s with this? You were covering your face.”
[Rienne] “That’s……It’s just a habit of mine.”
It sounded like an excuse when she said it, but it was completely true. The weather was always uncomfortably cold during this season, so she would often sleep with the blanket over her head.
[Black] “You weren’t planning on kicking me out?”
[Rienne] “If I were, I wouldn’t have brought a spare blanket……”
Finally, Black’s attention was pulled away as his eyes followed Rienne’s gaze towards a blanket that was quietly sitting in the empty spot next to her.
[Black] “I didn’t see that.”
Black turned back and kissed her again.
[Black] “But I don’t like how you’re already going to sleep.”
[Rienne] “Well, that’s just……”
[Black] “I’m here.”
[Rienne] “……..Sorry?”
[Black] “Are you going to sleep right away?”
The words heard from right in front of her nose ticked the backs of her ears. Was it because he was too close to her? His face was right there.
[Rienne] “What else would we do…….if not sleep?”
[Black] “I don’t know.”
Black moved his hand down her face, slowly and gently running his thumb across her wet lips.
[Black] “But I want to talk with you first.”
[Rienne] “Talk with me? About what?”
[Black] “Anything.”
As his fingers moved across her lips, she unintentionally parted them as if to speak, causing her tongue to touch against his finger. Then he frowned, his brows furrowing as if he were in pain.
[Black] “What kinds of things do you like?”
What a strange thing to ask of her while was pressing his finger against her lips like this.
[Rienne] “What do I like? In reference to what?”
[Black] “Anything.”
That’s what he said before.
[Rienne] “Well……”
It was such a simple question, one inquiring about things she found likable or good. But somehow it was difficult for Rienne to answer.
What do I like…….
But the more she thought on it, the more she couldn’t come up with a good answer, which only furthered her embarrassment.
[Rienne] “I’m not very fond of the cold.”
[Black] “………I asked about your likes.”
……She still wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t know what kinds of things she liked. But after thinking for a while, by the time Rienne’s voice came out, it was shaking.
[Rienne] “I would like it if I had nothing to worry about.”
[Black] “………What kind of worries do you have these days?”
There were too many to count. If she had to pick one in particular, it would be the lie she was presently working up the courage to confess to.
[Rienne] “I have many. Appointing the next High Priest, the whereabouts of the servant……But then there’s also the matter of the Grand Council and I’m worried about when the date for the wedding will be set. If things continue on like this, it will likely be delayed. And I suspect the Kleinfelders won’t approve a new High Priest until that happens.”
[Black] “I know those. Is there anything else?”
[Rienne] “Anything else?”
[Black] “Any more worries.”
[Rienne] “Well…..There’s was the drought that ended last fall. And this winter will probably be very cold, so I’m hoping the well doesn’t freeze over. It was so cold last year that everyone suffered greatly. And then there’s—“
[Black
] “Are you not worried about tonight?”[Rienne] “Hm? Tonight……?”
Her face suddenly paled, trying to think of what he could mean by ‘worried about tonight.’
[Black] “Aren’t you worried about what I could do to you?”
…….Oh, so that’s what he’s talking about, Rienne thought. In response, she took her hand, wrapping her fingers around Black’s hand that was still held above her lips.
[Rienne] “I’m not worried. I already know.”
[Black] “You know?”
[Rienne] “Yes. You told me. We are going to sleep together in the same bed just as we did before.”
He said he wanted to sleep together like they did that night, and that he wanted to kiss her once they both woke up. He clearly voiced his intention to hold her tightly as they literally slept together, with nothing ill in mind.
But then Black suddenly smiled.
[Black] “You’re really are an unpredictable woman, Princess.”
Rienne didn’t really understand what he meant by that.
[Rienne] “How so?”
[Black] “When I said I wanted to sleep in the same bed as you yesterday, you refused because you didn’t think I would be any good. And yet today……”
Black stopped talking, taking Rienne’s hand and turning it over, pressing a kiss into her palm.
[Black] “Today you’re acting like you don’t know anything.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
She heard that from her nanny earlier.
It was true Rienne didn’t know anything and that she had no experience in this realm. And hearing the clumsy comment she’d said coming directly from Black’s mouth only made what she was about to say even more difficult.
[Rienne] “I…..have something I need to tell you.”
Rienne had a hard time picking her words.
[Rienne] “I had a bit of a hard time today…….”
[Black] “I know.”
Black lowered his head, touching their foreheads together.
As he did, he felt very close to her right now, but the feeling itself was very different from a kiss.
[Black] “I was told you still need to be careful.”
[Rienne] “……?”
What was he talking about right now?
[Black] “The doctor left this morning, but I haven’t forgotten.”
The doctor left……? Ah……He’s talking about the child. I suppose he would still think like that.
[Black] “I’ve decided I’m going to treasure you, Princess…..so I will do my best to protect you. Don’t worry about having to deal with this on your own.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
Black moved his forehead away from Rienne, reaching out and pulling the blanket back over her. He brought it all the way up to her chin as if he were tucking her in.
[Black] “But I think my pillow’s too far away.”
He took the pillow Rienne had set out, one that was too distant by his standards, and pushed it closer without saying another word.
[Rienne] “. . .”
Rienne stopped breathing as the bed shifted, feeling him lie down next to her. At some point, he’d turned his body to the side, but Rienne didn’t even realize it at first. The two of them just stayed like that, their faces turned towards each other.
……..I have something I need to say.
Though she opened her mouth, not a single one of those words came out, and Rienne fell into continued silence out of embarrassment.
Stewing in her own shyness, seeing Black’s face up close like this, she was constantly being made aware of how amazing he was in every aspect. Even thinking about it made her timid heart flutter.
[Black] “Are you looking for another scar on my face?”
Black asked as he noticed her stare.
[Rienne] “No. I think that one was the only one I found back then.”
Rather, she had something she really wanted to tell him.
[Rienne] “And I would hope I don’t find any additional scars on you.”
She needed to say this. This was her chance……but her mouth kept saying other things instead.
Black took Rienne’s hand and pressed the tips of her small fingers against his lips.
[Black] “But if I don’t have any more scars, then you would have no reason to look at me the way you are now, Princess.”
[Rienne] “You’re wrong.”
[Black] “What do you mean?”
[Rienne] “I wasn’t staring at you back then because I was looking for a scar. I simply found it because I was already staring.”
So even if there were no scars to speak of on his body, she would always end up looking at him just as she did now. So long as he was right here in front of her.
[Black] “Just like how I found this?”
Black muttered, his voice so low, he could’ve easily been talking to himself. He brushed his hand against the freckles beneath Rienne’s ear. It was a part of herself she’d never seen with her own eyes.
[Rienne
] “Perhaps.”Rienne also lifted up her hand, running her fingers against the scar she’d found on Black’s eyebrow. Feeling her touch, Black closed one of his eyes as her hand brushed against his eyelash.
[Rienne] “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
[Black] “………Of course not.”
With only one eye open, Black took Rienne’s hand and pulled it down, causing her hand to run down from his eye, coming to rest on his cheek.
[Black] “I wish I had another scar here.”
[Rienne] “I don’t.”
All at once, Rienne’s expression soured.
What was he talking about? He wanted a scar…on his face…? Why?
[Rienne] “If you want me to touch you, then just ask me to. Don’t think about scarring yourself.”
[Black] “. . .”
Black suddenly frowned, the spaces between his eyebrows narrowing.
Well, it was actually a much more complicated expression than that. Sometimes it looked as though he was smiling, but sometimes it looked the opposite as well.
[Black] “You said you didn’t like it when I asked for permission, Princess.”
Yes, Rienne could remember saying that.
[Black] “So you should be more careful when saying things like that.”
[Rienne] “Sorry?”
He was speaking so kindly in comparison to his words.
[Black] “I don’t think you’d be able to handle what comes next.”
Saying those words as if they were cutting him on the way out, Black overlapped his lips with hers.
Lying in the same bed like this, escape was already impossible with how close they were, but the moment she felt his large hand cup her face, she knew she couldn’t avoid this.
Black urged Rienne’s lips apart, giving her a kiss that melted her body with how hasty and passionate it was.
Ah……My thoughts……are all flying away.
Black pulled Rienne up, locking her in his arm and the feeling of his weight pressed against her chest felt very indecent, yet thrilling. (1)
What….What am I supposed to do now…..?
Underneath the robe he was wearing, all Black had on was a pair of pants, so the first thing Rienne was greeted with was the sensation of his bare chest. That only became more apparent as they moved and shifted their bodies together, causing his robe to naturally open.
She tensed her closed eyes, and her thoughts were already completely gone by now.
Led by her senses, Rienne slowly ran her hands along the skin of his solid chest. His body temperature was so much hotter than hers.
[Rienne] “. . .”
Cutting off their kiss in the middle, Black pulled himself back—a soft and sweet sound resounding out as their lips parted.
At the same time, Rienne softly breathed in, all the air flowing back in all at once.
[Black] “Instead of being careful, I’ll only end up exhausting you with a kiss.”
The feeling of him murmuring with his lips still almost barely touching hers felt like it was burning her with how suggestive it was.
Rienne unknowingly lifted her head, searching out for him—as if to wordlessly ask him why he stopped. Even almost inviting him to continue.
[Black] “We can’t do any more than this.”
Black tilted his head back as Rienne got closer.
[Black] “You’re too dangerous to me, Princess.”
[Rienne] “. . .”
At those words, Rienne’s face turned red.
It wasn’t because she felt shy. She’d felt embarrassed hundreds of times before, but this feeling was different from that.
The situation was so passionate that it was suspicious why Black was pulling away from her when his eyes were filled with so much heat, she could see them shaking.
So Rienne reached out, placing her hand on the left side of Black’s bare chest, right over his heart.
Black flinched, his whole upper body stiffening, but Rienne was entirely focused on the feeling of his heartbeat against her palm, engraving itself upon her skin.
And so she wondered.
Was the beating of her own heart just as loud to him as his was to her?
The dangerous one wasn’t her. It was always him. He was so bad for her heart, that he couldn’t be considered anything but.
[Rienne] “There’s…..something I need to say.”
Lying down and trapped within his arms, Rienne faced Black with a gaze that seemed to pierce through him.
[Black] “What is it?”
Right now, Rienne was certain.
Even if he found out that she had lied to him about being pregnant, this man wouldn’t be disappointed or feel betrayed.
In fact…..He’ll probably be happy.
Any feelings of disappointment or betrayal he may feel would be overshadowed by the feeling of relief that she wasn’t pregnant with a child of Kleinfelder blood.
[Rienne] “I……I bled today.”
Black’s expression hardened.
[Black] “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
From the look in his eyes, it was clear that he firmly believed it to be because of the child.
As he started to get up, Rienne quickly grabbed Black’s arm, stopping him from seemingly going to charge off and call someone.
[Rienne] “No, it’s only because…….”
Right now, in this moment, it was her chance to speak.
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T/N: (1) the word ‘chest’ here could also be translated as ‘breasts’ or ‘boobs’ etc. but that felt like Too Much™
Oof, that cliffhanger. And that chapter was 500 words longer than usual! (>////<) But at least it was a full chapter of straight sugar